The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship
He's your good friend. She's your best confidant. You have known each other for a few years and have shared meals, movies, hobbies and vacations. You have confided to each other about your latest love interest and turned to one another for retain when the relationship(s) failed. You can't fantasize life without your good friend.
The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship
The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship
The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship
The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship
But for a while....
You've felt jealous of his dates. You've been overprotective of her since she has been seeing the jerk. You've been having
very strong feelings of attraction and a desire for something more than friendship. Could it be that your feelings for him/her have grown into something more? If so, your relationship may have advanced into a "friend crush".
You don't know what to do. You know you want to continue spending time together- more time. But it's getting hard. You fantasize about having more with this man and are starting to feel like a jealous would-be partner. Do you pretend everything is the same? Do you start distancing yourself- hoping your feelings will go back to the way they were? Do you positively Talk directly and positively with your friend about how you feel?
What will happen to the relationship if you make the Wrong choice?
Just as all habitancy are unique, so are the characteristics of their relationships with others. There is no one-size-fits-all retort to this increasingly coarse dilemma. So, let's take a look at your options. You can:
* ignore your feelings, keep your boundaries in check and pretend everything is status quo
In order to choose this option, you must be able to deny your feelings so well that even you don't know what they are. You will also have to continue being comfortable on the sidelines while man else has the relationship with this man that you desire. You will most likely be asked what you think of this or that man and be unbelievable to be happy and supportive of your friend when they meet the right man for them. In return for all this, you will still have your friend.
* begin to spend less time with your friend (crush) while seeking out new friendships to pursue and strengthen
This selection will most likely cause blurring and hurt on the part of your friend who will wonder what happened. They may be understanding and accepting of your need to spread your wings and retain you in doing what you need to do. Whether way, you will see less of them and your relationship can weaken and perhaps disappear altogether as they Move on with new people. If you can distance yourself for a while and no longer feel the romantic butterflies, you can always give them a call and may be able to pick up somewhere near where you left off.
* continue the relationship with your own inexpressive agendas - a desire for romantic intimacy and the hope that the man will comprehend that they feel the same way
If they become complicated with man else in the meantime, you can work to sabotage their new relationship or you can leave them wondering where all your anger and hurt feelings are coming from. You can spend a lot of time and vigor handling it this way, without anything to show for your efforts but the loss of a good friend.
* have an open and honest seminar with your friend regarding your new feelings for them
This is the selection that seems to be the hardest for folks to make. Often what I hear from habitancy in this position is that they fear "ruining the friendship" if they discuss their feelings honestly. While this is a very understandable concern, it isn't well notion out. It is emotional, not rational. Look again at the other options. Every one will bring about a change in your current friendship.
Why?
Once your feelings have changed, so does the relationship. Ignoring them, hiding them or distancing yourself will lessen your closeness and the unavoidable dynamics that flow between good friends. You can't go back. You need to rule how you want to Move forward or if this is an selection for you. . It is also potential in selecting this selection that you will learn that they have similar feelings for you that they were afraid to reveal. Therefore selecting this selection could consequent in romance and a love relationship based on true friendship.
Intimacy exists in all close relationships. It is the ability to be fully open and vulnerable to another without fear of harm or rejection. So, by definition, we cannot be intimate with another while hiding or denying our true feelings and needs to them.
The selection will always be yours. selecting wisely is about positively knowing the options, the consequences they bring and what will be best for you and your friend.
The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship
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